Growing Up Non-Athletic: How Childhood Gym Class Still Shapes Us as Adult Runners

Many women who run on and off share a quiet secret: running isn’t actually the hard part. Believing they belong as a runner is.

And for many of us, that identity struggle didn’t start in adulthood.

It started years ago… standing in a school gym, waiting to be picked for a team, pretending it didn’t matter, while our stomachs twisted.

If you grew up non-athletic, there’s a good chance those early experiences still echo in your adult running life. You might not think of yourself as an athlete, even when you’re out there lacing up. You might downplay your progress. You might feel like everyone else is naturally better, faster, stronger.

Most women don’t realize they get stuck in a kind of “confidence loop” that starts all the way back in childhood, and shows up every time they try to build a running habit as adults.

I get it. Because I lived it too. 

What Growing Up Non-Athletic Really Feels Like

My earliest memories of physical activity came with a knot in my stomach.

In elementary school, whenever a sport was introduced, two captains would stand at the front of the class and start picking their teams. One by one, names were called.

I always waited a long time for mine.

By the time the numbers had thinned out and only two or three of us remained, I’d already braced myself. I remember looking at the others still standing beside me, thinking, “Oh boy… I’m in the same category as they are.”

That moment, repeated class after class, created a story in my mind:

I’m not athletic. I’m not good enough. I don’t belong on a team.

Those stories don’t disappear just because we grow up. 

The Pressure of “Don’t Mess This Up”

I didn’t just feel “not good enough,” I actively avoided opportunities to prove it.

Whenever we played soccer-baseball, I would strategically place myself in the outfield where the ball was least likely to land. The idea of catching it and having everyone stare at me as I threw it back terrified me. I didn’t want to be the reason my team lost. I didn’t want to be noticed.

Running didn’t feel like freedom back then. It felt like pressure. Every physical activity did.

And of course, I had a best friend who was naturally athletic. She was fast, strong, always one of the first to be picked. I admired her, but I also internalized something deeper: she’s athletic, I’m not. She belongs on a field. I don’t. 

The 800m Track Moment That Stayed With Me For Years

There was one moment that stuck with me long into adulthood.

I signed up for track and field one year because something in me wanted to try. I wanted to be part of something athletic for once. I was assigned the 800m: two loops around the track.

But while I was still grinding through the end of my first loop, the leaders crossed the finish line completing their second. They had lapped me with what felt like ease while I struggled to breathe, red-faced and exhausted.

Everyone else was done.

I was still out there, alone. Embarrassed.

It wasn’t just discouraging. It reinforced the identity I had already taken on: Other people are athletes. I’m not built for this.

That belief stayed with me long after childhood. 

How Childhood Experiences Follow Us Into Adult Running

So many women don’t realize this, but your running struggles today are often rooted in memories from decades ago.

It might show up as:

• Feeling embarrassed to run in public

• Downplaying your pace

• Telling people, “Oh, I run, but very slowly”

• Feeling like a “try-hard” if you sign up for a race

• Avoiding group runs because you’re scared you’ll hold people back

• Starting and stopping because deep down, you don’t believe you belong

When I started running as a young adult, those beliefs came roaring back. Anytime someone asked, “Oh, you run?” I would immediately respond:

“Oh, but I’m very slow. I walk a lot. I’m not really a runner.”

I said it every time.

What I meant was: Don’t expect too much from me. I don’t want to disappoint you. I still feel like the kid who got picked last.

This is exactly how the confidence loop works: you try, you doubt yourself, you pull back, and then you try again. You’re not inconsistent because you’re undisciplined. You’re caught in a loop that no one ever taught you how to break.

This is what growing up non-athletic does. It doesn’t just shape our childhood. It shapes our identity. 

The Turning Point That Helped Me Rewrite My Story

It wasn’t one magical run.

There was no finish line moment where everything changed.

My identity shift happened slowly, almost silently.

One morning, years into my running, I went out for a regular 5K training run. Nothing special. Just part of my routine. But somewhere along the route, it hit me:

A 5K is a bucket-list goal for so many people.

And here I was… doing it as part of a normal weekday morning.

Something clicked.

I had spent years telling myself I wasn’t athletic, that I didn’t belong in the running world, that I was too slow. But my actions told a different story. I had become someone who laced up consistently. Someone who ran distances younger-me would’ve thought impossible. Someone who had built quiet discipline and resilience.

The story I grew up with wasn’t my story anymore.

That’s when my identity started to shift.

Not fast. Not dramatically.

But truthfully. 

You Don’t Need an Athletic Childhood To Become a Consistent Runner

If you run on and off, here’s the truth: Your childhood doesn’t get to decide who you are today. 

You don’t need to have been sporty.

You don’t need to have been picked first.

You don’t need natural speed or talent.

You don’t need a “runner body.”

You don’t need confidence before you start.

You only need one thing:

The willingness to try again.

Every time you try, even if you stop, even if you restart, even if you walk, you’re building the identity you once believed you couldn’t have.

Consistency doesn’t come from being athletic.

It comes from feeling safe, supported, and encouraged… the opposite of what we felt in gym class.

And in January, I’ll be sharing something special that helps women break that confidence loop for good. But if you want a head start, the Runner Reset Kit is the perfect place to begin. 

How to Start Rewriting Your Own Running Identity

If you relate to this story, the start-and-stop cycles, the comparison, and the insecurity, your running identity isn’t broken. It’s just unfinished.

A few steps can help: 

1. Start small enough that consistency feels possible

2. Remove the pressure to perform

3. Focus on effort, not pace

4. Let the identity grow from your actions

5. Celebrate every attempt, not just the “good” runs

These are the exact principles I teach and the foundation of the tools I create to build consistency in runners. They rebuild your confidence from the inside out; the way it should have been built for us in the first place. 

If You Want a Fresh Start, the Beginner Runner Reset Kit Is Your Next Step

The Runner Reset Kit was designed for women who didn’t grow up athletic and still don’t fully feel like “real runners.”

It helps you get clear, remove overwhelm, and rebuild your running routine with confidence — without pressure or perfectionism.

If you’re ready for a fresh start, January is a great time to build the confidence your need to finally break the start-stop cycle of running and a consistent runner identity. Sign-up for the Free 5-Day Challenge now to save your spot. Challenge starts January 5.

5 Days Consistent Running Habit Challenge is game-changing for women who feel stuck in the start–stop running cycle.