Why Most Women Quit in Stage Two (and Why It Doesn’t Mean You Will)

If you’ve ever started running, stopped, and then found yourself starting all over again a few months later, you’re not alone. That was me....a history of “false starts.”

I would get inspired. Buy the shoes. Download a training plan online. For a few weeks, everything goes well. And then life happens.

Maybe this was you too...

Then without warning your rhythm gets interrupted. Work gets busy. The kids get sick. Vacation rolls around. You miss a run, then another, and before you know it, your running shoes have found their way back to the closet.

Again.

If this sounds familiar, I want to tell you something that I wish someone had told me years ago.

You probably didn’t quit because you lacked motivation or discipline.

You quit because you didn’t realize you were in a completely normal stage of the process.

Over the years, I’ve noticed that becoming a consistent runner isn’t one giant leap. It’s a progression. Every runner moves through the same stages, but most women think something has gone wrong when they reach the difficult one.

The truth is, nothing has gone wrong. You’re simply in Stage Two.

Today, I want to walk you through the first two stages of becoming a consistent runner. My hope is that by the time you finish reading, you’ll stop seeing your struggles as proof that you’re not a runner and start recognizing them as signs that you’re growing into one.

Stage One: The Motivation Stage

Every running story starts with hope.

Maybe you’ve finally decided that this is the year you’re going to make running stick. You’ve researched beginner running tips, bought a pair of shoes that actually fit, and chosen a training plan that feels realistic.

You’re excited.

You can already picture yourself crossing your first finish line or running farther than you’ve ever run before.

You tell yourself, “This time is going to be different.”

And honestly?

I hope it is.

I love this stage because excitement matters. Motivation is a wonderful thing. It gets you out the door on mornings when you’d normally hit snooze. It helps you believe that change is possible.

But motivation has a job, and it’s a much smaller job than most people think.

Its job is to help you start.

It was never meant to help you finish.

One of the biggest misconceptions in the running world is that successful runners are simply more motivated than everyone else. They’re not.

If you’ve ever met someone who’s been running consistently for ten years, I can almost guarantee they don’t wake up every morning bursting with excitement to lace up their shoes. Some days they do. Many days they don’t.

The difference isn’t that they have endless motivation.

The difference is that they’ve built something stronger than motivation.

They’ve built a habit.

Why this stage feels so easy

There aren’t many obstacles yet.

You haven’t experienced many disappointing runs.

You haven’t had to figure out how to squeeze a workout into a week where everything went sideways.

Most importantly, you haven’t had to keep going after your excitement wears off.

At this point, your confidence is built on possibility.

You believe you can become a runner because nothing has challenged that belief yet.

That’s completely normal.

But eventually, every runner reaches a point where possibility has to become practice.

And that’s where things get interesting.

What you should focus on during Stage One

I think many beginners focus on the wrong goal.

They focus on distance. Or pace. Or calories burned.

Instead, I’d encourage you to focus on something much simpler: Showing up.

You don’t need to prove that you’re a runner by running five kilometres without stopping. You don’t need to prove anything by running fast.

Your only job right now is to keep making appointments with yourself.

Every time you lace up your shoes, you’re casting a vote for the person you want to become. That vote counts whether you run for thirty minutes or ten. Whether you run continuously or use walk breaks. Whether it feels amazing or feels like hard work.

The goal isn’t to impress anyone. The goal is to become someone who keeps coming back.

A quick note about motivation

If you’re waiting until you feel motivated before every run, you’re going to spend a lot of time waiting.

Motivation comes and goes.

Life doesn’t stop when you’re trying to build a running habit.

Your schedule won’t suddenly become less busy. Your children won’t magically stop getting sick. Your job won’t become less demanding because you’ve decided to train for a 10K.

That’s why motivation alone isn’t enough.

Yes, it’s the spark, but not the engine.

Stage Two: The Reality Check

This is the stage where most women quietly decide that running “just isn’t for them.” Not because they aren’t capable. Because they misunderstand what’s happening.

Here’s what Stage Two usually looks like.

You’ve been running consistently for a few weeks. Maybe even a month. You’re feeling proud of yourself. Then life interrupts your plan. It might be something small. You have an early morning meeting. Your child wakes up with a fever. You’re travelling. You sleep through your alarm.

You miss one scheduled run. Objectively, it’s not a big deal. But emotionally? 

It can feel like everything starts unraveling.

Instead of thinking, “I missed today’s run.” Your brain starts telling a completely different story. “I’m already falling behind.” 

“I knew I couldn’t keep this up.”

“I’ve done this before.”

“Maybe I’m just not athletic.”

Does that sound familiar? If it does, I want you to know you’re not alone. I hear versions of this from runners all the time. And I've said these exact things to myself.

The problem isn’t the missed run

The problem is what we make it mean. One skipped workout becomes evidence. Evidence that you’re inconsistent. Evidence that you’ll never become “one of those people” who enjoys running. Evidence that you’ve failed again.

But here’s the truth. A missed run has absolutely no power on its own. It’s just one missed run. The meaning we attach to it is what determines what happens next.

Why Stage Two feels so personal

I think this stage hits especially hard for women who never saw themselves as athletic growing up. I know that’s true for me. I was the girl who got picked last in gym class. Team sports weren’t my thing.

For a long time, I genuinely believed that other people were naturally athletic and I simply wasn’t.

Maybe you’ve carried a similar story.

If you have, Stage Two doesn’t just feel like you’re missing workouts. It feels like your old beliefs are being confirmed.

“See?” your brain says. “You knew you weren’t a runner.”

The problem is that your brain loves collecting evidence for stories it already believes. If you’ve spent years telling yourself that you’re not athletic, every missed run feels like proof.

But what if it’s not proof? What if it’s simply part of learning a new skill?

Perfection has never been the goal

One of the biggest mindset shifts I had to make was realizing that consistent runners aren’t consistent because they never miss workouts.

They’re consistent because they come back. That’s it. They stop viewing one missed run as failure. They treat it as life. And life happens. 

The runners who stick with it aren’t the ones with perfect schedules. They’re the ones who have learned how to restart quickly.

That’s a skill.

And like every other skill in running, it gets better with practice.

What to do when you find yourself in Stage Two

Instead of asking yourself,

“How do I get back on track?”

Try asking a different question.

“What’s the smallest thing I can do today that keeps me connected to my running habit?”

Maybe it’s a twenty-minute run instead of forty. Maybe it’s a run-walk session. Maybe it’s a walk because that’s all your energy allows today. Maybe it’s simply laying out your running clothes for tomorrow morning.

Small actions matter because they protect your identity.

They remind you that you’re still someone who runs, even when life isn’t going according to plan.

One of the reasons I love the run-walk method so much is because it teaches flexibility. It reminds us that there isn’t only one way to be a runner. Walking isn’t a sign that you’re failing. It’s a strategy that allows many runners, including me, to run farther, recover better, and enjoy the process more.

The same mindset applies to consistency. Flexibility isn’t weakness. It’s what keeps you moving forward.

If you’re in Stage Two right now…

I want you to remember this: Nothing has gone wrong. You haven’t missed your chance. You haven’t proven that you’re “not a runner.”

You’ve simply reached the point where running stops being fueled by excitement and starts being built on something deeper.

That’s exactly where growth happens.

And if you can keep going you’ll reach the stage where running starts to feel less like something you’re forcing yourself to do and more like something you genuinely enjoy.

Coming next week…

In Part 2, I’ll share the final two stages of becoming a consistent runner: The Experiment and The Identity Shift.

We’ll talk about why the runners who succeed aren’t the ones with the best genetics or the strongest willpower. They’re the ones who become curious. They experiment. They stop trying to run like everyone else and start building a running habit that actually fits their life.

And somewhere along the way, something unexpected happens.

They stop trying to become a runner.

They simply become someone who runs.